Do the ugly paintings really exist?
I was afraid of this question. Sure. But to me, their importance was as a thought. A question. A metaphor for other things.
What do you suppose the metaphor is?
It’s there in the book—Sholem’s approach to making an ugly painting is like Sheila’s attempt to construct a beautiful life—thinking she ought to marry and whatnot; follow the rules of how she thinks she should be, just as Sholem has rules about what’s beautiful and what’s ugly and tries to follow them in his painting.
I see. All those “oughts” equal something very different from beauty.
Yeah. Trying to live the image of the life which you have in your head ... it’s really hard not to do that, but I do think maybe it’s cheating.
How do you mean?
Cheating life. Cheating yourself out of a real engagement with life, which involves surprise, not just you moving through your environment with this pre-determined idea of what you intend to do with it and how it should react to you. It’s like thinking you’ve been put on this earth to master life and make it submit.
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