Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Physics of Friends

I have an equal and opposite matter of gratitude for you: I have been so grateful that, when I needed it, you told me why I shouldn't love A. The other A, I mean.

You stoked my ego (mostly what I remember is you telling me how he wasn't hot or fun enough for me) and you helped push me away from an unhealthy, one-sided love.

And I traded up for the very reciprocal, healthy (if obsessive) true love I have for you.

That experience has sometimes made me wonder if I should (or maybe should have, past tense) push back on you more the way you did for me. Not because I don't think W is worthy, or that your love isn't real/enduring, or because I want you entirely to myself (we're both a mess without cock, let's not even try it).

But since I needed you to do that for me, I have this kind of knee-jerk mental reaction where I wondered if you needed it, too. It sometimes made me feel like a bad friend for not being harder or more dismissive or critical, particularly through the harder times.

But really, what could I say? The essential truth is that I'm not sure I'll ever think that there is someone out there who is really actually good enough for you. And so I have to put my trust in the real love that I see between you, and all the rat babies to come.

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